Diet is a four-letter word

I'm going to say it. I'm going to take the stand and admit, not only do I not diet, but I advocate strongly against dieting. There is much damage being done by our current dieting industry and the many well-intentioned health professionals advocating dieting.

The founding principle of dieting is that dieting = weight loss = beauty. In my industry, many will argue that in the place of beauty, health should sit. However, others have argued at length and more eloquently the fallacy of this assertion, at least from a cultural/societal level. I'm going to make the bold assertion that this is wrong. All wrong. Starting from back to front.

First, let's talk about beauty. Beauty is a cultural construct. Remember the pictures in National Geographic, designed to exotify the cultures explored therein? Most of what was considered most extreme, from extended necks and lips and ear lobes, to ritual scaring, to bound feet, to face painting or headdresses, are in the name of beauty. Just a different idea of beauty than ours. However, our culture is not so terribly different, trying to sculpt the body's shape, alter the coloration and hair patterns. And our means are similar -- surgery, daily painting, deprivation or contraptions.

So what constitutes current American concepts of beauty? Look around. The actresses in shows and movies, the models in magazines and advertisements. At this moment in U.S. cultural history, they represent a body type that is only even possible for a fraction of a percent of the population. We are no longer talking about a healthy ideal for the population, but an impossible image for nearly all women looking at those pictures. Then, those actresses and models are pressured into altering their bodies to a more extreme image, one that is not healthy for them to maintain, despite having started with that rare-but-desirable body type. And, to add insult to injury, their images are manipulated so that they are even more impossibly perfect. We are constantly being told that we are not beautiful because we don't look like someone who a) is atypical for our species, b) is already killing herself -- quite literally -- to look like that, and c) has some techie carving her electronically. Sounds reasonable, right?

I'd also like to point out the absurd idea that making ourselves more attractive physically, even if it were possible on this scale, is all that desirable. How does "improving oneself" translate to physical beauty? How about wisdom, knowledge, patience, kindness? People always say they want a mate who has some of those things, who "makes me laugh," but we still know that in this culture, the expectation is to look better/thinner, not to be a better person. Take a minute to think about that idea.

Now, back to the equation. Is losing weight a desirable end? No. Not for beauty reasons. Not even for health ones. Let me give you an example. I used to know two women, friends, that liked to go out dancing together. One was thin (anorexic, but that was only figured out later), pretty and a good dancer. The other was significantly larger (outside the ideal for this culture) and very confident. Guess who got the attention. Ms. Confidence. Every time. She walked into the room with the air of someone who was stunningly beautiful. The fact that she wasn't was irrelevant to the reaction she got. She was not arrogant or rude, just absolutely confident. Her confidence made her beautiful in a way that a changed body would not. As I think through my life, time and again this principle has played out. Can you think of a time when you've seen this effect? Try this out. Stand in front of the mirror. If you stand like most women I've met, your shoulders are either rounded forward or dropped down -- not confident. Pull yourself up to your full height. How do you look now? Now imagine that with the glow of happiness and confidence. Pretty powerful stuff.

As far as health is concerned, weight, or even inches, are not the best indicator of a healthier you. I know of research that argues otherwise. It is based on populations, not on individuals (and is too numerous to link to it all here). If your lifestyle is in need of rebalancing, and that is an extremely common problem in this time and place, the results of a healthier lifestyle may not be fewer pounds or inches. First, muscle mass is heavier than fat. If you are in need of losing fat (again, a common outcome of our out-of-balance cultural context), it is likely that you will replace it with muscle, which would increase your weight on the scale, while still being healthy. You also might not be in need of losing weight at all, even while being out of balance. If you want to be healthy, look for balance and authenticity, and my next blog post for more details.

Finally, does dieting equal losing weight, anyway? Not for most people. As noted in NaturalNews, "low calorie dieting slows your metabolism, making it progressively more difficult to lose weight and keep it off. The failure rate of most diets is astronomical, yet people continue to try one after another, always hoping that each new scheme will provide the solution." In addition to a variety of real dangers posed by dieting (including emotional and physical), there is little evidence that dieting leads to a lower weight. In fact, dieting is frequently associated with weight gain, even after having controlled for a tendency towards gaining weight in the first place. Short-term symptoms of dieting include fatigue, hunger, food obsession, difficulties concentrating, to name a few. A wonderful illustration of the absurdity of dieting is provided at BodyImageHealth.org in the form of the air diet, which produces the same short-term symptoms. The long-term impacts are complex and can include self-esteem issues, disordered eating habits (with varied side-effects), immune system problems, weight gain and metabolism disruptions, growth and development delays for younger dieters, and in extreme cases death (faster and surer than overweight.)

In a nutshell, dieting ≠ weight loss ≠ beauty... or health for that matter. There. I've said it.

Getting through the Peak of Flu Season

This article was written with Katja Swift, a clinical herbalist practicing in the Boston area. By teaching people how to eat real food and use plants as medicine, she helps them to reestablish their connections to the earth, to themselves, and to one another. Contact her for more information at www.katjaswift.com.

This winter has been particularly harsh weather-wise, and while the back of the winter may have been broken (or not, time will tell), we are just now hitting what is considered the peak of flu and cold season. The timing of the two are not completely coincidental; although colds and flus are not caused by cold weather, staying inside is. When we stay inside, all snuggly warm, with drafts blocked up, the viruses that cause colds and flus are shared. So, how to make it to Spring (real, no more snow or frozen temperatures Spring) as healthy as possible?

Avoiding the flu and colds

Since no one really wants to experience the discomfort and inconvenience of a cold or flu, it makes the most sense to start with prevention.

To flu shot or to not flu shot?

I’ve previously written about why I don’t recommend flu vaccines – either annual or the H1N1. While many people (and professionals) disagree with me on this subject, at this time of year the choice is more of a fait accompli. If you got it, you got it; if not, it does not make sense to get it now. The viruses that give us colds and the flu are always mutating. The vaccine is based on last year’s strains. At best, if this year’s strains are particularly similar to last year’s the vaccine might have been 70-90% effective. If the vaccine is not as good of a match to this year’s strains, the effectiveness goes down sharply, even to not-at-all. However, as the viruses have been mutating since the vaccine was developed, it is a lot less effective to get the vaccine late in the season. Either way, there is still a lot you can do to decrease your chances of getting a cold or flu.

Mother Nature’s flu prevention: Garlic

The simplest way to boost your body’s resistance is to suck on some garlic! Peel one clove of garlic and suck on it for 15 minutes. Chewing it can be quite intense and some find it too strong for the stomach, but “gnawing” on it a little (pressing gently with your teeth) is the right idea, to gently release the oils. It’s guaranteed to give you dragon breath, but the potent virus-fighting action of garlic will be coating the throat and quickly absorbing into the blood stream. After 15 minutes, or when the “heat” of the garlic becomes uncomfortable, just spit the garlic out. Do this three times a day for best effect, whenever you’re exposed to colds or flu. Preventatively, you could do it every night before bed!

Fresh raw garlic a bit too extreme for you? Here’s a simple recipe for making the potent power of garlic more palatable: peel the skin from each clove of several heads of garlic. Fill a mason jar 2/3 of the way full with the peeled garlic cloves. Then pour apple cider vinegar into the jar until it is halfway full, and honey in until it is the rest of the way full. Put the lid on, and leave the jar on the counter: in a few weeks, the garlic will be pickled, and much more pleasant to eat! They will continue to improve over time. Eat one pickled garlic clove a day, and use the garlicky honey-vinegar in sauces and dressings.

If you love vinegar, here’s another easy recipe. It worked for the Plague, it’ll work for you! The recipe is called “Thieves’ Vinegar,” and there are many variations of the recipe and the legend available online, but here’s my favorite: Add 1/4 cup sage, 1/4 cup rosemary, 1/4 cup thyme, several red chili peppers, and at least 8 cloves of fresh garlic to a quart-sized mason jar. Cover the whole mix with apple cider vinegar, and let sit for 2-4 weeks. Take one shot-glass of the vinegar daily as a strong preventative against colds and flu. If you don’t like the taste of vinegar enough to take it daily, keep the jar around and use it as medicine the next time you get sick.

Loving that body you’re in

Your immune system, like all of your body’s systems, is really designed to deal with this. So, the best place to start is by supporting your body in its efforts.

• Nutrition: A well-nourished body is better equipped to fight viruses. Sugar, artificial flavors and colors and pesticides all decrease the body’s capacity to fight off infections. So, start with whole foods and include a wide variety of foods, especially plants for lots of nutrients. Avoid pre-processed convenience foods and food-like snacks. While they fill your belly, they leave you weakened and unbalanced nutritionally.
• Rest: Yes, you really need those Zzzs. Researchers have found that, like nutrition, getting enough sleep is directly related to avoiding colds and flus. Personally, I visited with a friend hospitalized with the flu twice this winter already. For a few nights after each visit my body quietly requested more sleep and I followed its advice. No flu here. (This is an anecdote, and not proof at all. The proof is in the research. However, the experience really brought home the lesson for me.) If it seems like you have to sacrifice too much to get that sleep, think about what will happen to your schedule if you get the flu instead.
• Washing those hands of yours: Our hands are in everything, and it is when we carry the viruses on them (from the air or surfaces that we touch) into our eyes, nose or mouth that we give ourselves a cold or flu. Fortunately, simply washing with soap and water (for a good 20 seconds) is enough to kill the majority of viruses available (as well as most bacteria, fungi, and assorted yucky stuff.) Anti-bacteria soaps are unnecessary and cause more problems.

What to do if you get sick anyway

Despite our best efforts, it is always possible (and in the big picture fairly likely) that we will catch something at least once in a while. Here are ways to support your body’s capacity to fight off the virus, which will help you feel better and get back to your normally scheduled life sooner.

Flu Treatment

Your immune system will do the heavy lifting, the actual fighting off of the virus. You can support your immune system's efforts (resting well, eating well, and washing well), and you can treat the symptoms for a little bit of comfort while you wait:

• Hot water helps with congestion: Hot steamy showers or baths, or a hot cup of tea or soup held up to your nose, can help to steam your sinuses loose a little.
• Kitchen remedies for congestion: horseradish, cayenne or jalapeño, and wasabi. You can choose the one that you like best. In most cases, you don’t even need to eat these things in order to clear your sinuses – simply opening the jar and breathing deeply can be enough to get your faucet running!
• Use gravity: Sleep and rest in a semi-reclined position to let gravity drain your nose enough to let you breath.
• Ginger, clove and cinnamon: For sore throats, a tea made by boiling whole cloves can (temporarily) soothe the discomfort. A tea from boiling whole ginger and cinnamon will support your body’s heating up. If you boil all three together, they also taste really lovely.
• Cooling off a (too high) fever: Remember that normally (almost always) your fever is good for you (see Is it a bug or a feature below). If your fever does get high enough to cause you serious concern, try some peppermint tea to let the heat out (in a cleansing sweat). For a slow cooling, a cool compress to the forehead and wrists.
• Grandma’s Thyme Steam: Take a pot of water at a rolling boil, and set it on a table. Being careful not to burn yourself, make a “tent” over your head with a towel or a blanket, and lean over to inhale the steam. Add two handfuls of good quality dried thyme, and/or sage and oregano. All three of these plants have potent volatile oils that are strongly anti-microbial. When you add them to the pot of boiling water, those volatile oils are released into the steam, and you inhale them right into your respiratory tract, and lungs.

How to slow the spread in your family

Once one person in the family gets sick, it’s just a matter of time before everyone else gets it, right? Well, maybe. If this strain is new to you and your family, and different enough from other colds and flus you have been exposed to, it is pretty likely that it will go from person to person; if it is similar enough to a strain you have been exposed to previously, on the other hand, you may not even notice it passing by. Either way, there is a bit you can do to decrease your chances of others getting it (other than banishing the sickly one to the basement):

• Back to the basics: Make sure that everyone gets as much sleep as their bodies are asking for, eats as healthy as possible, and washes their hands as much as possible.
• Air it out: Open the windows whenever possible to air out the space – even just 5 or 10 minutes can bring in fresh clean air, decreasing the concentration of the cold or flu virus in the air. Less in the air means you are exposed to less.
• Anti-microbial spray: You can also make up a spray bottle of water with 10-20 drops of essential oil of rosemary and 10-20 drops of essential oil of lavender. This combination is anti-microbial, boosts energy and the immune system, and has been found in French state hospital trials to kill germs as well, and for a longer period of time than chemical sterilizing agents. Plus, it smells nice! Spray it frequently around the house, lightly spray the bedding when you’re ready to get up for a little while (leave the blankets open to air out), use it to wipe down counters – you can even use it to moisten a handkerchief before use (damp handkerchiefs feel better on a raw nose)!

Antibiotics and viruses

Antibiotics kill bacteria. Viruses are not bacteria. If you are fighting a viral infection (and colds and flus are viral), antibiotics won’t work. Frequently it seems like they worked because they take a week or two to finish, during which time your body has fought off the virus (and the imbalance to your good bacteria caused by the unnecessary use of antibiotics). Some doctors report being pressured into prescribing antibiotics by patients (or patients’ parents). Others want to give a patient (or patient’s parent) something tangible, and when the cause is a virus, there isn’t much they can really do. Either way, antibiotics can be counter-productive except when a bacterial infection needs to be addressed.

Is it a “bug” or a “feature”?

Interesting tid-bit about cold and flu symptoms: they aren’t actually caused by the virus. The symptoms that we associate with colds and flus (fever, runny nose, coughing, aches and pains, etc.) are actually caused by our own immune system doing its very best to end the viral infection. Fevers, for example, kill off viruses that cannot survive the higher temperatures. Extra mucus (runny and/or stuff nose) is created to protect the body from the invasive virus. Glands swell (for example in your throat) as they fight the virus trapped there (to keep it from getting into the rest of your body.) Sore throats are frequently a side-effect of either the extra mucus or swelling in the area, and aches and pains are frequently a side-effect of the fever. So, as much as no one likes the symptoms, if we are too good at defeating them, our bodies will have a very hard time fighting off the virus – like asking a boxer to go into the ring with his hands tied behind his back. In addition, like any system (think of your muscles), the immune system needs the exercise to be good at its job; each cold or flu helps protect you from nastier stuff down the road.

Realistic expectations

Despite what schools and workplaces expect, a cold is expected to last 1 to 2 weeks – weeks, not days. The flu can really knock you out for several days with a high fever, and you can really feel the flu for 10 days to 2 weeks. This is normal. While there are reasons you would go to the doctor with a flu or cold, it is important to know that it is not realistic to expect even a simple cold to be gone in a day or two. Just settle in with the blankets, the soup, the tea, and let your body rest.

So, eat well, sleep well, and wash well. You will be taking care of yourself for you and those that depend on you, and you will decrease how much your schedule is disrupted by colds and flus. And soon (only a month or two) we will emerge from yet another cold and flu season into the sunshine of Spring and Summer. This too shall pass.

The Meaning of Snow

Just a few days ago, the National Weather Service reported that 49 states had snow on the ground. (Florida, not Hawai'i, was the hold out.) Friends from Southern states were commenting that their towns were shut down for days as they lacked the capacity to deal with the white frozen stuff, while friends nearby (we had just received 12-20 inches of snow in my area) were lamenting the strain and challenges of shoveling and snowblowing. The conversation could well have been filed under "First real snow of the year" and filed for next year around this time. At least here in the North East, we really seem to enjoy talking about the weather, so this conversation will undoubtably be used again and again. In fact, we are due to receive more snow in a few days.

As I shoveled (and shoveled and shoveled), after contemplating the weight of the snow (especially wet and heavy) and before I started to contemplate my physical limitations, I discovered several benefits of snow. In the interest of sharing joy and health, and of preparing for next week's expected storm, I wanted to share these discoveries with you.

The first unmistakable benefit of snow hits you before you have even walked out, when you open your eyes in the morning after the snow has fallen. The world is measurably brighter! The sun is shining, having emptied the clouds, and that sunshine reflects and refracts all over the place. It is stunning. The increased light, especially at this time of increased darkness, is healing to the psyche; it feels good. It also can remind us to think with greater clarity, to avoid hiding behind the veils of drama that we can add to any situation. When we add drama, we can not see a situation honestly, we usually upset ourselves which decreases our health, and we find it much harder to find a way out of those situations. When we see our lives more clearly, the acts of others carry no additional, unhelpful, meaning. That simplicity is beautiful and helpful in and of itself.

The next benefit that strikes the senses, is the quiet. Snow's blanket over all the hard and sharp surfaces softens the bouncing sound waves. I live in the city, and this difference is huge. The constant background noise of buses and trucks and cars and people and dogs and horns and... that accompanies me all day and night throughout the rest of the year is turned down when it snows. It is a wonderful relief. The sudden quiet also encourages meditation and inward seeking (hence this blog post.) This is not surprising as many cultures that experience these seasonal changes see deep winter as a spiritual, inward-facing time of the year.

Quickly, the next benefit manifests itself: slow down. One cannot run through snow. One can not rush shoveling. All one can do is pick the snow up and put it down, carefully pick your way down the street, whether walking or driving. You are required to pay attention to this moment. While shoveling, not paying attention can lead to muscle strain or pinched nerves. While walking, it can lead to a spill, and while driving an accident can result. The roads have changed shape and size and the sidewalks are multidimensional and slippery; autopilot is simply not an option. Being here, now, for this unique and precious moment and aware of our surroundings is a huge gift! By slowing down and doing less multitasking, our health and well-being are enhanced. As I've mentioned before, if we are not aware of this day, it is as if it never happened. By requiring us to be more aware, we have the gift of moments, hours, days we would have missed otherwise.

Finally, the last gift is that of community. As we shovel snow, we recognize that we are all in the same boat, and barriers between people can come down. We also can not ignore that we are interconnected; where I put my snow will impact those around me if I am not thoughtful. This gift was brought more strongly to my attention this year. We have had neighbors that we have barely seen since they arrived last summer. I have judged them unkindly over that time. Earlier this week, as we shoveled together, up to our knees in the same snow, I got to know them a little bit. I feel far more empathy for them (this was the first snow they have seen in their lives, and they were unsure on where to even begin in the digging out). I also know that they have benefited by starting to know their neighbors and starting to connect with their community. Over the years of living in this city, frequently known for its lack of kindness by some stereotypes, I have always enjoyed this change in temperament the most! And, as I've mentioned before, community is a key ingredient in health.

These are not all of snow's gifts to us. There is physical activity and exercise involved with snow -- whether you are moving through it or trying to relocate it -- and there is cleaner air to breath, just to name a few. Yes, snow is inconvenient, and even now the clean white blanket is a dirty coating in many places. But, it is also a gift to be enjoyed.

What every baby needs... a (not) shopping list

A friend of mine is due any second now with her second baby, and it brings me back to those pre-first-baby days of worry... Do we have enough? Do we have the right things? What are the right things??? Everywhere we turned, the list of what was necessary, desirable or inevitable kept growing. "Do you have a swing? You can't get by without a swing!" "You can't go for a walk if you don't have the right stroller..." "If you're going to breastfeed, then you'll need a pump." It was crazy! And the times only got more so in the intervening years; the stroller I see most in my middle-class neighborhood is the one I first saw in a photograph of a celebrity (and which costs nearly $1000!) So, for a little sanity, here is a list of what is really, really necessary:

1. One fetus ready to be birthed

2. One mother ready to birth (biologically ready; rarely do we ever feel psychologically ready)

3. A supportive community

That's it. Really. Ok, once the baby is born, a few more things are useful, but not nearly as many of those as one could be led to believe!

What not to buy (at least not right away):

An online checklist (pretty typical of its kind) from The New Parents' Guide suggests no less than 42 items (many of which are for several of its kind), which if purchased new would easily cost the new family over $1000 for the big-ticket items (bought modestly based on the website's recommendations) before getting into clothes, wash cloths, diapers, bottles, creams, bras, etc., etc., etc.

So, let's pare down this list a bit. The first item on everyone's list is an infant car seat, preferably one that connects into a whole travel system. If the baby will be going in a car, yes, an infant car seat is the only safe place for her. Of course, we are assuming that you will be transporting your baby in a car. If you birth at home, baby doesn't need to go anywhere any time soon. Once, you are ready to go out into the world with your baby, there are other ways to carry that little one.

In place of the car seat/stroller travel system (which is far less expensive than the fancy infant strollers and jogging strollers, but still cost a couple hundred), may I suggest wearing your baby? At least when walking around (not in a car ever), a wrap or baby pack is far more relaxing for baby (and therefore for the parent in question). In fact, a good one will cost you less than a comparable stroller ($50 for a great versatile one with good instructions, versus $300 easily for a stroller that can accommodate an infant at one time and a toddler later).

Cribs are another big expense; typically $200 for a low-end new crib and another $100 for the mattress, plus covers, sheets, bumpers. Plus, many people get both a crib and a bassinet or pack-n-play (another $70-200) for the new infant. I'm going to propose a crazy idea, one that has been used for millennia (successfully) and is supported by good solid research: co-sleeping. Bed-sharing can be easier, more gentle and safe for all involved. When looking at ways to make your adult bed safe for your infant, definitely read the guidelines. In addition to what the experts will tell you, I found the least expensive route was to move our mattress to the floor (away from the walls). This part of our lives didn't last all that long in hindsight until the baby was ready to move in to her sister's room and a big-girl bed (although my partner would not have believed that at the time). Co-sleeping became a lesson in parenting in general: they grow and change too fast to rush it!

Diapering is another big expense, or can be. From personal experience, I can honestly say that cloth diapers (laundered at home) are not really any harder than disposable. (Parenting is tough; diapering is inconsequential compared to that!) It is also a lot less expensive (a starter set of diapers can cost up to $75, which might get you through a month of disposable diapering.)

There is also the question of whether diapers are necessary at all, when compared to a practice commonly called elimination communication. A friend once told me that "it's not natural" to keep a baby sitting in its own waste all day (not the same waste, of course). I can not say if it is easy or challenging from personal experience as I heard of it after my youngest had been diaper free for several years. If given another chance, I think I would try it though. With dropping the diaper, we can also lose the diaper pail and diaper rash ointments. Not a bad deal in my mind.

The last item on my "needs to be questioned" list is the breast pump. I am so very for breastfeeding (cost and convenience and confidence...), and pumped for both my babies when they were babies and I was away in an office. It is not the usefulness of a breast pump under the circumstances for which it was designed that I question, but it arriving at a baby shower. As Kathy Abbott, IBCLC, (the Curious Lactivist) said at a basics of breastfeeding workshop given by the Nursing Mothers' Council, giving a pregnant woman a breast pump gives new mothers the message "you can't breastfeed without this machine," not a helpful message at all. A pump, if needed, should be purchased once you know what you need it for; breastfeeding only requires a baby and the mother.

What you really will need:

This all takes me to the one item on my list that the checklists don't include (maybe because it can't be purchased): community. The mother's partner (you know, the snuggly one on the other side of the bed) is a good place to start. There are a million ways for the partner to be involved with the mom, with the baby, with parenting, from the beginning. This can relieve the stresses of adapting to parenthood on mom (at least there's someone else in this with you!), and keep everyone connected.

Community also extends beyond this tiny family unity, though. In all the advice to prevent or decrease the stresses of having a new baby, community comes up again and again. This is both practical (not trying to do it all, have a list of things visitors/family/friends can do for you), and emotional (having people who listen and understand.) New parents should take the time to recognize that this is a big transition, all new parents go through it (although differently), you are not alone! Surround yourself with people who are supportive and helpful. Other new parents can be found in the baby/kid section of the local library and at the local (toddler-friendly) playground during school mornings. Go for walks and say "hi" to people. Offer the kind of friendship you are looking for; it can inspire others to return the favor. It all comes back around to you in time.

In addition to this peer community, it is also good to know where you can get sound advice if you need it. Finding a pediatrician that is respectful of your parenting choices is well worth the effort. There are also organizations and other resources to help you figure out the logistics of your choices. For example, if you run into challenges with getting breastfeeding started, for example, there are volunteer organizations (a few) with well trained volunteers, and professionals that can help.

So, make sure you've got good people around you, and then enjoy the fleeting days of babyhood. At least you know that most of the stuff isn't worth worrying about.

In defense of Halloween

Halloween, by other names, predates Christianity, marking the end of summer and extended days and the beginning of the cooler time of year. Most folklorists connect it with Samhain of Celtic tradition, with similar festivals to mark this transition around Europe. In the U.S., most people consider it a secular, cultural holiday. From our childhood, it is marked by costumes, night-time roaming, and candy -- what's not to love?

As a night owl with a closeted penchant for drama and a not-so-closeted addiction to candy, Halloween was easily my favorite time of year as a kid. When I remember how Halloween was celebrated in my neighborhood, I remember all us kids spending hours, usually days or weeks, making or putting together costumes. There was the year I was a lollipop, with tan pants and a hot-pink-tissue-covered cardboard-and-hula-hoops sucker end (thanks, Mom). There was the year my sister was a robot (more cardboard, this time with tinfoil). And, of course, the old stand-by, "Gypsy" with lots of jewelry and scarves. The kids on the street, with whom we played throughout the year, would end up as one big knot of riotous, giggling candy-beggars. From house to house, if the lights were on and the decorations up, we rang or knocked. We met many a neighbor, young and old, recently moved into the neighborhood and always been there. At the end of the evening, we'd all get corralled into our respective homes, gorged on chocolate, sugar, and artificial dyes. Again, I ask what is not to love?

Fast-forward through the years of not trick-or-treating, to today. As a mother of school-aged kids, one of whom has the added love of all things Halloweenish by sharing her birthday with the month of the holiday, I am amazed at Halloween's image in this day and age. Apparently, this cherished tradition has become an excuse to scare the pants off the parents, not with zombie movies (my personal weakness) or ghost stories, but with check-for-sex-offenders and don't-meet-strangers advice. According to Halloween Safety Guide, parents' worries get to start at checking for local sex offenders ("just a fact of life now"), move on to every possible way to avoid your child being snatched off the roads ("In most cities it is not safe to let kids walk the streets by themselves."), dally through fire-proofing your kids' costumes (I wasn't planning on lighting it on fire, at least not with them in it), checking props for the potential to impale if the child should fall on it (really?), and (after more about not getting snatched) ends with crossing the street safely. To add to this list, other sources suggest checking your kids' candy to for loose wrappers, in case they were tampered with.

The instructions for kids parallel those for adults, including such warming ideas as "Never go to a stranger's house, or even ring the door bell, unless your parents are with you and say it is ok..." and my personal favorite: "If you can drive and are taking a bunch of friends to a party, make sure that you have enough gas to get there. You don't want to run out on a dark street, all alone, like a bad horror movie!" (What happened to those friends you were driving?? And, when did Halloween and its sequels offer us guidance to real life?)

Ok, in all seriousness, no one wants their kids to get snatched, including me. However, what are the odds, really, of being snatched? In 2009, the number of people under the age of 18 that were reported missing and determined to be missing "involuntarily" was 5,901 out of and estimated 74 million people under the age of 18. This gives us 8 children per 100,00 children, or 0.008 % chance. This includes children who were taken by a family member or other acquaintance, runaways and throwaways. In fact, kidnappings by strangers are so rare, I've started explaining to parents who ask, "but aren't you afraid," that if I wanted to decrease their odds of being kidnapped, I'd have to teach my children to fear only family and friends; strangers would be the safety. The rates of kidnappings, all together and by type of kidnapping, have NOT been getting bigger since we were kids. Currently, we are about the rate of abductions as we had in the 70s (lower than when I was running around in the 80s.) Despite all the voices telling us that "in these times" or "these days" or "no longer" safe, life for kids is safer than it was back in our day!

Alright, we are clear that the kiddos are not in danger from getting snatched. Now, what about tampered candy? We all grew up on the stories of razor blades in apples and poisoned candy; they must be true, right? What if I told you that they were nothing more than urban legends? Yep. There have been no confirmed cases of poisoned Halloween candy from strangers, no cases of any kind of threat to kids from the treats received from strangers. As far back as the researchers have been looking (into the 1950s), not a one. The kids are still safe.

While I haven't seen any statistics on the other scenarios (impaling oneself on props or running out of gas on a lonely road and discovering oneself in a horror movie), the straws are getting thinner. And, I'm still not planning on lighting my kid on fire. Cars are still a danger, and knowing how to cross the street on any day or night will serve kids well; so I can honestly say that that piece of advice is always a good one. A glow stick or reflective tape couldn't hurt, either.

On the other hand, there is a lot to be said for the advantages of the old-school Halloween:

1. Independence! Kids are craving it and will reach for it wherever they can find it; better to make it available in safe and exciting ways, than through acting out. Better to have a walk around the neighborhood by themselves.
2. Community! Yes, getting to know your neighbors is good for your kids and you, and your neighbors. Neighbors that are connected are stronger and safer.

So, I say, for your health, for your kids' safety, for your community and neighborhood, and just for the fun of it, go out and trick or treat!!

Unplugging, getting moving and getting cooking

This is in response to Anastacia Marx de Salcedo's article with Public Radio Kitchen, and one reader's request for a How-To piece (and with Anastacia's permission.)

We live in an All-Or-Nothing atmosphere, and the discussion about healthy weight and weight-related choices is just as divisive. On the one hand, we have people who see the sky-rocketing rates of obesity and want everyone to lose weight; on the other, we have people who see the sky-rocketing rates of eating disorders and (non-clinical) disordered eating behaviors and want everyone to embrace their bodies unconditionally. Both sides are right, of course, and therefore both are also wrong. The small amount of research on integrated messages, ones that combine both eating disorder prevention and obesity prevention, shows serious promise. Integrated messages also are healthy for everyone, and by bridging the two doctrines, provide a united healthy message in place of extremes. Integrated messages include three main parts:

• Unplug: Watch less, and question more of what is watched
• Get moving: Find activities you love and do them
• Get cooking: eating real food in reasonable portions

Unplugging

Americans watch far more TV and related media than in previous generations, for more hours per week, and it has an impact. First, media consumption (TV and magazines are among the worst for this, but it is everywhere) is related to body-type dysphoria (hating your shape). The actors and models all represent an impossible "ideal." In fact in one small study in England, comparing body attitudes and healthy behaviors among women who could see, had lost their sight, or had never been able to see, the women who had never been able to see were the healthiest. The authors of the study attributed this to their never having seen this "ideal" and therefore never questioning whether their healthy bodies were anything less than adequate. Children's media is particularly challenging for this, as the out-sized child is disproportionately the meany or dolt (as with the dark-skinned or unattractive child). Really.

Second, TV, especially children's, is full of ads for junk food and passive activities. Studies have shown what any parent watching has noticed: kid's TV ads are almost never for healthy foods and all about sugar-bomb cereals (a la Calvin and Hobbes), convenience food-like items, sugar drinks... and on and on. They have also shown that kids that watch these ads ask for these things more, and kids that ask for them more get them more. (This is not a critique of parenting here; we all make compromises to respect our kids' integrity and decrease family strife. This is just looking at the impact of those ads: they work.)

The same process happens with the activities. The ads are not for playing kick-the-can or tag; they are for junk-food of the mind and body: more TV shows and movies, video and computer games, and indoor (branded-character-based) games. Watching TV itself decreases activity-levels, sucks away hours and hours each week that could be spent doing anything else. Then, it convinces you to watch more and play (sitting down) games that tie back into the shows.

SO, what can we do???

1. To start, turn it off. Many households just leave it on between shows, drawing you (and especially kids) back into its clutches. Just turn it on for the shows you intentionally want to watch; make an intentional choice about which those are. This can also help you find out how much you watch. (It is probably more than you realize.)

2. You can try literally unplugging the TV. Just plug it in for the one or two things you really want to watch, then unplug it again without changing channels to see what else is on. The extra act of plugging it in makes it a conscious act, instead of an unconscious habit. When TVs first came out, one reviewer's comment was that they were nice, but "Americans don't have enough time" for them. However they have become a habit that can be hard to break.

3. Be ready for the withdrawal. If you are going to decrease how much you and/or your family watches, you should know that there is withdrawal. While we are watching TV, our brains are putting out hormones that keep us feeling mellow and content. When the TV first turns off, we get agitated and uncomfortable. (This is part of why watching TV before bedtime is problematic for people who suffer from sleep problems.) It goes away. The physical withdrawal goes away within a half hour. The psychological withdrawal, having to think of something to do instead, can last a little longer, but is worth overcoming for its own sake!

4. Watch what they are watching. Talk about it. A major point in the integrated messages is media literacy. It is also a huge learning area that is both critical in this age of media overload, and that is under addressed in the schools (already focused on raising test scores.) Media literacy starts with questions. Question the assumptions that the show makes; talk about stereotypes; ask if there are other solutions to the story's drama; talk about who makes the show and why; ask how the story makes your child feel... the dialogue can be endless, even over Bay Watch.

Getting Moving

We are a country of sitters. We sit at work (more office jobs, less active jobs, in an information age.) We sit at school (lunch recess and gym class being cut beyond recognition). We sit at home (in front of the TV or computer). We sit when we go from place to place (passive commuting for both kids and adults)... We are expert sitters, but not much else!

Getting moving starts with the fun and practical, and should stay there. Joggers jogging to jog is not the idea here. Kids running to play tag or for the joy of feeling the wind in their faces is more what we're talking about.

1. Do it together! Girls and boys whose parents engage in physical activity with them stay active. Whether you are swimming, biking, throwing a ball around, playing tag, or being the "monster" at the playground, YOU doing it makes a world of difference.

2. Commute actively. Getting a ride to school is not so helpful. Walking and biking to school encourage independence and activity over passivity. If walking together, spend the time listening to your child or notice the weather and seasons passing together. Take public transit and walk instead of using your car. If the car is required, try parking at the far end and walking farther to the door.

3. Get outside. Our bodies and minds respond to the cleaner air of the great outdoors (yes, even in the city the outside air is healthier than the air inside our homes), to the wider spaces and freedom from the electronic devices (back to unplugging). People who spend time outside, enjoying being outside, are healthier and more content than those who only scurry from home to car to place to car to home. You can explore your yard, neighborhood, local flora and fauna, or go farther away for new vistas. Camp in your backyard, take a walk around and about, splash in the puddles, climb trees, make mudpies... the options are endless!

4. Keep it fun! This is for parent-child bonding. This is for encouraging your child to enjoy being active. This is not for you to win, and your child does not need to learn how to be a great ball player before you are done. If kids enjoy playing a sport, they will get better at it just by doing it. The occasional tidbit of information or frustration maintenance is fine; but don't push it. An over-eager parent can just as easily squash a budding interest as one who is completely unengaged.

Getting Cooking

In this country, our portions have become mammoth, and our convenience food-like consumables have become standard. From every direction, nearly every year, it seems there is some new truism about food, most of which contradict each other. In thinking about healthy food, I like Michael Pollan's advice in In Defense of Food, "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." To this I would only add, "Many colors," as the diversity of our foods expands the nutrients we get from them. Restaurant, take-out and prepackaged foods contain insane additives and come in unrealistic portion sizes. Just as one example, a bagel should be about 3 inches in diameter and only contain flour, yeast, salt and water (a touch of sugar and oil optional). Store bought bagels have grown in the last few decades to 6 inches in diameter or more, and include preservatives and other (inexplicable) chemicals.

(If the commercial world's portion sizes have come home, simply eating off of smaller plates quietly retrains the eye to expect less and the body to eat slower. Just the conscious act of refilling the plate slows us down and helps to prevent eating until we feel sick.)

Now the question becomes, how to get kids eating home-cooked food? Your toddler wants to live off of one food for what appears to be the rest of her life? Your teenager considers anything not prepackaged as poisonous? Research suggests that the more involved kids are in a meal the more likely they are to eat it. Get them cooking with you, or even instead of you.

1. Choices, real honest choices. Stock the home with healthy options: fresh produce and whole grains. Then, let your toddler pick her snacks, or your teenager plan a dish or even a whole meal for the family. Kids are on a road to independence, and this is one way to encourage it that you can feel good about.

2. Offer new options, and keep offering them. Diversity of foods is great and important, but so is patience. Research shows that kids need multiple exposures to the same foods before they really feel comfortable with them. In the wild, where food plants frequently have poisonous look-alikes, the proper way to test a new food is remarkably similar to the toddler's process: put it in your mouth (don't chew or swallow) and spit it out; if nothing bad happens, put it in and chew on it (but don't swallow) and spit it out; if nothing bad happens, try a tiny portion; if nothing bad happens... So, your picky child is supposed to go through this process; it is what has kept us alive for the countless millennia before supermarkets and drive-through windows.

3. Don't micromanage the process. Cook what you as a family enjoy; model enjoying your green salad or beet soup, and then trust. Kids that are exposed to tasty vegetables, to adults enjoying those vegetables, are going to eat vegetables when they are adults. (When you aren't looking, most likely.) Let them find their favorites.

4. Have fun cooking together! It is a chance to bond and share family traditions and comfort foods, values and happy memories. Just by cooking together, you are making a difference. For example, a chocolate cake cooked at home will still be a cake, but won't have some of the unpronounceable and undesirable additives of a store-bought cake. If you child only wants to spend time cooking the sweets, that is ok. In time he may expand his repertoire into sweet breads, then into soups... (at least that is what happened with my little non-domestic.) There are tons of kid-friendly cookbooks out there. (My kids like Spatulatta.) But, your family's favorites will be more effective than anyone else's cookbook.

So, in the end, the advice is all about making time. Time to spend together, to play together, to cook together. I can hear the whisper (roar?) in reply, "But I don't have time!" I know. I get it. Life is crazy, busy, hectic. Much of this happens instead of (not in addition to) other stuff. Turn off the TV, and instead go play tag outside. Instead of waiting 30-45 minutes for the pizza delivery person, boil whole wheat past and chop up a tasty salad. Or, make your own home-made pizza in only 15-20 minutes extra. Yes, it can slow life down, walking to school or sitting down to a meal... but isn't that a good thing?

PS (There is a lot of research not linked here; if anything interests you, please email me at kdbergman@yahoo.com, and I can send you more information.)

Summer without air conditioning... or a car

This summer has been wonderfully, steamingly, ridiculously (for Boston) hot. I have discovered that Bostonians are (almost to a person) unaccustomed to the usual week or two of hot, humid weather. We are acclimated to air conditioning. Last summer, which had very little over-90 weather, I was surprised with how long a day with no air conditioning can be. I had been conditioned by years of work days in work offices uncomfortably refrigerated, only being in the natural heat of summer during my commutes and (maybe, if I was lucky) for a little at lunch time. The conditioning caught me by surprise, since I had been away from the office for nearly a year at the time. This year, however, with plenty more heat, I was ready. And comfortable. We spent our time in the local free pool, or carpooling with friends to a nearly-local free beach. Which leads to the other change this year: car-free. We lent out car to my sister's family, and have been getting around without since.

So what? you may be asking. Or, What does this have to do with health?

Cars and air conditioning are among the technologies most people can't imagine getting along without, but I would make the claim that for most people, for most of the time, we need to try. These technologies separate us, isolate us. When we drive in and out of our neighborhood, we have no idea who our neighbors are. When we walk up and down our street, to the bus, the store, the post office, we meet people. I've always claimed that having kids and dogs are two of the best ways to meet people. The reason they work is because they force you (if you let them) to walk to the park, go for walks, and stop to meet every new discovery, from an interesting weed growing in the cracks of the sidewalk to the people on your street. These days, people with kids get bigger vehicles (beyond mere cars) and equip them with DVD players and climate control. We can't see the weeds, we can't say "hello," and now we don't even know what we are missing!

Air conditioning also isolates us from our neighbors. The house is closed up, sealed from the sounds and shared air of our neighborhood. We turn inwards. We close ourselves off from each other. And then we acclimate to the climate control. After a few hours of this, step outside, and Ugh! The natural environment feels down right hostile! So we scurry to the car, and crank the AC. Rush in and out of the errand we were running, not pausing in this uncomfortable air, and back into the house before we sweat too much. A few hours quickly turns into days, weeks, and the whole season, protected from summer.

When I was small, we lived in Delaware and summers (which there occur between April and September, inclusively, not just August and maybe July) were spent entirely out of doors. After my family moved to the Boston area, we would go back and visit, especially in August (the height of the heat each year.) My sister and I would run around in the neighborhood with the other kids. One year, my grandparents got AC, and "Go out and play; it's gorgeous out." was replaced with "You can't go outside! It is too hot. It isn't safe." That was the first year we did not know the kids in my grandparents' neighborhood. In a similar vein, in The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood the narrator talks about living in the deep South, and how people used to virtually live on their wrap-around porches all summer long. Before AC. Now, the story claims, the same humming desolation hangs over the streets.

So, for comfort we enclose our kids and ourselves in climate control, not meeting anyone. What are the consequences? It is hard to be certain. There is evidence that the activities we engage in indoors (screen time with the computer and TV screens) are being engaged in out of balance with outdoor activities. We sit and don't use our bodies, we don't get sunshine (lack of vitamin D), and we are socially and emotionally isolated. The evidence is not there, but it seems to me that air conditioning and driving are detrimental to our health, physical and emotional, as individuals and as communities.

In contrast to the model above, my kids and I have been out. We have met dozens of people on buses, on the street, at parks and pools and beaches. Our bodies are healthy and strong. We feel connected to the people around us. We feel safer, and are safer in our community because of those connections. And maybe, just maybe, we've cheered someone up, brightening their day, helping them to feel connected, and made them a little healthier. It wasn't easy to get used to at first, but it was well worth it, and a lot of fun by the end!